The Anniversary
by NotYetLostFaith
Summary: When Ziva David turns up late and dishevelled for work, the whole team start to worry. Can her partner in crime, work and life Tony Dinozzo save her from herself before it's too late... Rating changed to T  possibly just for chapter 5
1. Chapter 1

Tony entered the bullpen, late again, and gave a relieved sigh when he discovered that his boss must be on his usual coffee run. He sat at his desk, placed his gun, badge and cell phone in the top draw of his desk and ran his hands through his hair. It was only then he realised something was missing

"Hey McGoo, where's Ziva?" McGee was typing furiously at his desk, his mouth moving as if he was saying every word he wrote.

"She's…" He paused, looked at her desk, then to Tony and finally back at his computer screen. "She must not be in yet." Right on cue, the elevator ding rang out and Ziva stepped out, walking quickly towards her desk. Tony's smile disappeared before his mouth could form it. She looked terrible. Her usually luscious hair fell limply across her shoulders and lack of sleep had taken its effect on her beautiful face. She slumped into her chair, opened her top draw slowly and placed into it her gun and badge, careful not to make too much noise.

A coy smile returned to her partner's face.

"Good night was it?" Ziva's head jerked up to meet his eye. "Well, you've obviously had no sleep, you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday…" Pain spread through the back of his head as Gibbs' hand made contact.

"Shut up Dinozzo."

"Shutting up Boss." He said sheepishly, rubbing his head.

"Dead marine, grab your gear." McGee, Ziva and Tony all proceeded to do just that. Gibbs tossed Tony the keys as they left the bullpen. They all stopped however as they watched Ziva move as slowly as if she was jogging in treacle. "Ziver? Are you alright?" Gibbs asked in a hushed tone. She only tipped her head but it was enough for him. "Then let's go." All four agents entered the lift without another word.

McGee was busy bagging and tagging and Gibbs was talking to Ducky and Palmer about the body, leaving Tony to be the only one to notice Ziva's lack of normality. They were interviewing Darcy Maroon, Lt Nigel Maroon's wife. But Ziva just wasn't herself; she was being too close cut, too forward. By the second crying fit, Tony decided that Darcy had had enough.

"Ziva, can I have a word?" He asked, not wanting an answer. He took her by the elbow and led her back to the car. "What the hell is wrong with you today?" She was obviously taken aback by the question, a reaction Tony wasn't expecting. The chocolate in her eyes seemed to darken slightly as her eyes glossed. Tony knew that she would never forgive him if he made her cry let alone at a crime scene, so he squeezed the elbow he suddenly realised he was still holding. "Just… be nice, she's just lost her husband. Okay?"


	2. Chapter 2

She had stayed quiet for the whole ride back, despite Tony's best efforts to get some sort of reaction from her by going on about the latest film he'd seen, and as soon as the he had stopped the car Ziva had disappeared.

"It isn't just me that finds Ziva's behaviour lately strange, right?" Tony asked as he walked into the bullpen not entirely shocked to not find her sat at her desk.

"No, it's not just you. But Ziva's business is Ziva's business; we need to stay out of it. She'll never forgive you if you pry." Tony gave him a odd look. "What?"

"Why would she only never forgive me?" McGee's gaze went back to his computer screen as he shook his head at his colleague.

"Because I'd never pry." He mumbled.

"Dinozzo!" Gibbs shouted, shocking the half asleep man awake, several hours later.

"Yes Boss?" He asked slightly groggily.

"Dead body, find Ziva, meet us there."

"Why, you think she did it Boss?" His sleep riddled brain thought being his usual funny self would break the tension on his boss' face; a sharp stinging pain across the back of his head convinced him otherwise. "Sorry Boss." He said, rubbing where Gibbs had slapped him. "Finding Ziva Boss."

"Ziva? Zi? Are you in here?" Tony called pushing the ladies room door open. He'd been to every one of her usual hiding spots: the gym, the coffee shop over the road, the park, he'd even phoned her home number but he couldn't find her anywhere.

After a few indignant looks from Delores from Human Resources, who quickly left, Tony noticed Ziva's trade mark boots under one of the stall doors. "You know Zi," he started leaning against a sink. "I don't know how it works in Israel, but when someone asks if you're there, it's customary to answer them." When she didn't reply he closed the two step gap between him and her door and leaned his head against it. "Are you alright?" He asked quietly. More silence. "Zi?"

"I am fine." She sniffed, much to Tony's alarm.

"Zi?" He heard her move and moved his head seconds before she wrenched the door open.

"I said I am fine, Anthony!" She shouted, but the tear stains on her cheeks betrayed her. She pushed past him and turned the tap on one of the sinks. "What do you want anyway?"

"Gibbs wants you." He mumbled sadly. "We've got a case." He started to the door.

"Oh." Ziva's voice was small. "I'm sorry, Tony?" But he was already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note-Sorry I haven't been putting these. Hey, my name's Shannon and this is my first story, so be gentle and review.

Shout outs-Tiva-Babe UK, for being the first person to review this story

pirate-princess1, for being the first multi-reviewer.

Disclaimer-I don't own anything. Wish I did but I don't.

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><p>After the team had got back from catching the killer from their last case, a horrible crime scene involving both children and their mother as well as their dead navy lieutenant all of whom were killed by Navy lieutenant Mitchell's best friend, Evan Cartwright, out of jealousy, Gibbs had sent them all home for the weekend. There was no reason for them to stay.<p>

However, nearly two hours later, Ziva was still sat at her desk, typing away at paperwork that could easily wait until Monday.

"Zi? What are you still doing here?" Tony asked wrapping the towel he was holding around the back of his neck.

"Paperwork." Ziva nodded towards the screen as if it was obvious.

"Boss man said we could leave nearly two hours ago." Ziva looked up at her partner.

"Then why are you still here?" Tony looked down at himself and motioned to his NCIS issue sweats.

"I was pretending the punch bag was Cartwright's face." He shrugged. Ziva went back to furiously typing while Tony was left staring. Moving slowly and cautiously, he took a seat on Gibbs' desk. She turned slowly.

"Tony?"

"When the whole Jeanne thing ended, I was really out of it: I couldn't concentrate, or sleep and I certainly couldn't work." He paused, gauging her reaction. "You helped me through that."

"Tony…"

"No, let me finish. You were the one that pulled me out of the slump. Please let me help you too."

"Tony." Ziva repeated forcefully. "I am fine." Tony shook his head, left the desk and gathered his things from his.

"I'm gonna presume that you're not coming over tonight. But just in case, I'm gonna be watching 'The Sound of Music'." With that he left swiftly, and even before the elevator doors had shut behind him, Ziva, head in hands, burst into tears.

Julie Andrews' beautiful singing voice filled Tony's apartment, but he wasn't listening. He was and had been since he got home, glued to his phones, hoping, praying, that she'd call him. Even a text just so he knew she was safe. A small gentle knock at his door drew his attention.

"Hey." He greeted softly after opening the door to find Ziva with a bottle of wine.

"Truce?" She asked softly motioning at him with the bottle. He smiled gently and stepped aside allowing her to enter the apartment.

He took the bottle and went to the kitchen returning with a corkscrew and two glasses. He sat next to her on his sofa and handed her a generous glass of wine.

"Thank you." She mumbled, sipping it slowly.

"Why are you here Zi?" He set his glass down and took hers placing next to his on the coffee table.

"You asked me to come over, no?"

"I mean, after today, why are you here now?" She took a deep breath and looked at her clasped hands.

"I want to apologise for my behaviour towards you today."

"Don't apologise…"

"I know, I know it is a sign of weakness but I believe it should be said." He took her hand suddenly, trying not to worry about the slight tremble.

"That's not what I meant. I mean don't apologise because you don't need to. Please just tell me what's wrong." She shook her head quickly.

"I cannot." Tony sighed.

"Okay. Then let's just drink and watch the movie okay?" Ziva nodded.

"Thank you Tony." She kissed his cheek and snuggled into his chest. He held her and kissed the top of her head.

"You're more than welcome."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note-Thank you for all the reviews, they really do mean a lot to me. Sorry earanemith you are not even close but nice try. This chapter is slightly longer than the others but it's mostly dialogue so it reads fast.

Disclaimer-I own nothing!

'Climb Every Mountain' rang out and Tony turned off the DVD player, bathing the room in an eerie glow. He gently moved to put the remote on the table, careful not to wake Ziva. He had no idea at which point she'd fallen asleep but given that she clearly had had no sleep the night before he just let her sleep. As softly as humanly possible, Tony slid his arm around her back to support her and moved out from under her. As soon as she was comfortably on the sofa, he padded to his bedroom and retrieved the spare blanket, covered her with it and kissed her forehead.

"Good night sweet ninja." He whispered before retiring to his bedroom.

Only moments after he had finished getting ready and had made it into bed, he heard Ziva shouting something in what he could only presume was Hebrew, but she was skipping languages so fast he couldn't keep up even if he had been fluent in them all. He did however catch up when she settle on English.

"No, no, please! Please do not do it!" Tony crouched beside her head, narrowly avoiding being punched in the head as she tossed and turned in her sleep.

"Ziva, wake up Ziva. You're safe I'm here."

"Please, please. I am begging now, is this what you want please!" Tony took her hand as tears escaped from beneath her eyelids.

"Ziva!" He was shouting now, anything to get her to wake up, to let her escape from her nightmare.

"Please do not do this!" She sobbed and then came a sound that Tony knew would haunt his dreams till his death: she screamed the scream of a woman in pain.

"Ziva, it's okay sweetheart. I'm here. Please wake up Zi!" She sobbed and writhed on the sofa kicking over the coffee table and the thankfully empty bottle of wine in the process. Then she suddenly stopped moving, curled into a ball and sobbed.

"Please." She almost whispered. "Please save me. Why have you not saved me? You said you would always have my back." Tony took hold of her shoulders and shook her.

"Ziva! Wake up!" She opened her eyes with such speed Tony actually jumped. "Ziva?"

"I…I." Tears still poured from her eyes, but she seemed to not notice them.

"It's okay Ziva. It was just a nightmare." He leant in to kiss her forehead but she flinched and stood up, walking to the other side of the room, almost cowering in the shadows the TV was creating. "Zi?"

"Do not please. Do not touch me." She she begged in an uncharacteristically tiny voice. "Please."

"It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you." He promised standing up slowly.

"Where am I?" Tony felt his heart sink.

"You're in my apartment. You're safe."

"T-Tony?" She trembled against the wall.

"It's me Zi, I'm here." He took a cautious step towards her. "It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"T-Tony." She sobbed and he stopped caring if she'd flinch, he needed to hold her, to protect her. He closed the gap quickly and held her close as she sobbed onto his shoulder. He stroked her hair soothingly as she sobbed. He'd never seen her like this and it was starting to worry him.

"Zi?"

"Mhm?" She mumbled against his chest.

"Is that why you were so off all day? Because you've been having nightmares?" She nodded slightly. "What are they about?" She shook her head. "You know you can tell me right?" She nodded again. "You just don't want to?" Another nod. "That's okay too." He kissed the top of her head.

"Tony?" She asked a full five minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"I am sorry."

"Zi, we've spoken about this before." She shook her head and pulled away.

"I am not sorry for coming over, or being witchy…"

"Bitchy." Tony interrupted.

"What?"

"The phrase is being bitchy but carry on."

"Or for being _bitchy, _but what I am sorry for is being like this in front of you."

"What human?" He scoffed.

"Vulnerable."

"Which is human Ziva. I don't blame you for being vulnerable, look how much you've been through." She smiled sadly. "You sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

"I cannot Tony."

"Why?"

"I cannot be that weak in front of you again."

"Again?"

"Somalia."


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note-Sorry I haven't updated in a while, majorly busy at the moment. Anyway I hope you like this chapter and as always please review. Oh and ForeignMusicLyrics I'm glad you're happy and I love you too! = ]

Disclaimer-I own nothing.

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><p>As always, Tony flinched at the word.<p>

"Sorry." Ziva murmured softly, walking to the sofa and taking a seat. Tony followed her and sat in the armchair to her right.

"Zi?" He waited for her to look at him. "You needn't apologise."

"It is my burden to bear, not yours." Tony ran his fingers through his hair and sighed exasperatedly. "What?"

"I was there too Zi!" He raised his voice slightly. Seeing fear flicker in her eyes, he softened his tone. "I had to see you, battered and bruised. I had to half carry you to the car when your legs couldn't hold you. I had to watch you flinch and hear you scream every time the doctors touched you."

"I had to live that Tony!" It was her turn to raise her voice. "I had to live through the battering and the bruising, I had to live through my legs being unable to hold my own body weight, I had to live through every ounce of pain, emotional and physical, I felt when those doctors touched me. I had to _live _that Tony. You only had to watch." A single angry tear fell down her flushed cheek and Tony's heart fell as quickly as the tear did.

"I'm sorry." He looked at his hands. "You just have no idea…no idea how much it hurt me to see you like that." Ziva smiled gently but Tony missed it. "I read your psych evaluation notes."

"You did wh…" She stopped herself mid word and reconsidered her reaction. "Why?" She asked barely audibly.

"You wouldn't talk to me Zi."

"It was not just you, Tony."

"I know, but you always talk to me. Even if it's just to tell me to shut up you still talk. You didn't even do that. I was…well I guess I was scared." Ziva nodded her head knowingly. "So I read them. Turns out you really weren't talking to them either." They chuckled lightly and half-heartedly.

"I said enough to pass."

"But really you didn't say anything." Tony paused and shifted his gaze to meet her deep chocolate eyes. "Have you ever told anyone the full story?" She shook her head slowly. "Why?"

"I cannot." She shook her head again, this time at herself. "I _will _not."

"I won't think any less of you, whatever happened. I can assure you." Her eyes glossed. "I promise, Zi. It won't make me feel any different towards you." He smiled reassuringly.

"There is really nothing much to say." She said in mock calmness. "I was captured, tortured, you found me, we came home. End of story."

"Don't do that Ziva." She looked at him with a look of pure confusion. "Don't compartmentalise and pretended that you've dealt with it. I saw some of the bruises. You were black and blue." Ziva turned her body to face the opposite wall. "Ziva…" He started but she interrupted.

"The day I was captured, I was taken in front of Saleem. He tied me to a chair and beat me, trying to get information from me, about Mossad, about NCIS, about my father. But I was trained better than to break on the first day. He locked me up in a cell, no more than a metal box really, and I was left there over night, another breaking technique. This went on for a few days. The same routine: Saleem's men would take me from the box and tie me to the chair, he would them beat me with whatever was to hand, usually a baseball bat, and then when he grew tired, he would have me taken back to me cell." He realised what she was doing now. She couldn't say all this while looking him in the eye. "Pretty soon, he grew tired of my lack of cooperation. He decided to move on. He would have me stripped before I was placed in the chair and would then concentrate his beatings on the lower half of my body. After a few days however, he grew bored of this and…tried something else." Ziva's voice cracked as tears started to form in her eyes. "I will not go into detail, I cannot, but let us just say that…well, apparently I am not the only one who uses sex as a weapon." Tony felt sick. He didn't need to hear the words; he knew what she was referring to. After forcing his stomach to settle down, he saw Ziva's shoulders shudder as sobs started to engulf her.

"Ziva? I'm going to hug you okay?" She nodded, at least he thought she did and, moving very slowly, he wrapped his arms around her middle, underneath her bent elbows where her hands were covering her face. Tony leaned in tenderly and kissed the side of her neck. "I'll never let anyone hurt you like that again, Ziva. I promise." He whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note-Just a quick chapter to lighten the mood slightly and move the story out of that huge dramatic moment. Hope you enjoy.

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><p>Ziva sobbed gently. Tony's arms tightened around her waist and pulled her tenderly towards him, until her head was resting on his shoulder. He carefully took one of her hands into his own and removed it from her face.<p>

"Zi, look at me." He said softly but firmly. She moved slightly in his arms so she was leaning with her side against him. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes." She was trying to regain the composure in her voice.

"And you know that I'd never hurt you right?" Something that looked alarmingly like fear flashed in her eyes as she wondered where he was going with this.

"Y-yes." She stuttered tentatively. Tony smiled tenderly and melted the fear from her heart, replacing it with pure peace.

"Good." He leaned in painstakingly slowly and kissed her lips lightly, pulling away before she had chance to react. "Now, it's nearly midnight and I know how cranky you get when you don't get up for your five o'clock run, so I'm going to let you get some sleep. I'm pretty sure you remember where the bedroom is, I'll take the sofa." Ziva sat there stunned for a moment. Only a moment.

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"You just kissed me." She stated without emotion. Tony's cheeks dusted with a rose blush.

"Yeah I did. Is that alright?"

"Why?" Tony groaned inwardly with frustration at the lack of an answer.

"Because I've always wanted to know what it feels like." Tony's blush depend slightly as Ziva's eyes bored into him. "Is that okay?"

"What did it feel like?" There she did it again, she skipped over his question.

"Like I always thought it would." He paused and lost himself in her eyes. "Perfect." He almost whispered. Ziva's entire face blushed a delicate pink. Tony smiled at the blushing ninja in his arms and knew that he'd cherish that moment always.

"I did not like it." Ziva stated and Tony's heart sank.

"Sorry, I just really wanted to know and I'm sorry and…" She put a finger to his lips.

"I did not like it, because you did not give me a chance to do this." She replaced her finger with her lips in one smooth movement. After just a few seconds, he pulled away. He untangled himself from her and stood up.

"Now, off to bed with you, Miss David." He said, kissing the tip of her nose.

"I could sleep on the sofa, I would not mind. It cannot be good for your back." She argued with a small smile.

"Bed." She glared at him half-heartedly and kissed his cheek as she stood.

"Fine. Goodnight Tony."

"Goodnight Sweet Cheeks." He retorted, arranging the cushions to make them more comfortable.

"Tony?" He looked up and met her gaze.

"Yes Ziva?" She smiled but only with her eyes.

"Toda."

"You're welcome Zi. Anytime."


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note-Thank you for all the reviews they really do mean a lot to me. Keep reading and keep reviewing please!

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><p>An ear splitting scream awoke Tony from his anything but peaceful sleep. Jumping up from the sofa, he ran towards his bedroom.<p>

"Ziva?" He shouted, banging on the locked door. "Ziva!" Her screams continued to echo throughout the apartment. Ignoring the fact that he had no shoes on, he swiftly brought his foot into contact with the door, flinging it off its hinges.

Ziva was sat bolt upright in his bed, eyes squeezed shut, screaming. Tony ran to the bed and sat in front of her.

"Zi!" He took hold of her shoulders and shook her gently. "Zi! It's a nightmare, Ziva wake up!" Ziva whimpered in her sleep, collapsed back onto the bed and writhed in pain. "Ziva David! Wake the hell up! You're scaring me Zi." Tony practically sobbed as he watched his best friend struggle with the memories that trapped her. All at once, her eyes opened suddenly and she started sobbing into his sheets. "Ziva?" He whispered gently, placing a hand softly on her shoulder. She jumped violently and he removed it quickly. "Sorry."

"I…it…is not you, Tony." She struggled. "I…it…it was him. He…he was here. He was here!" She sobbed. Tony gathered her in his arms and pulled her onto his lap.

"Shh it's okay sweetheart. He's gone now, you're safe. I'm here." She held onto his bare shoulders for dear life as sobs wracked her tiny frame.

"I was so scared Tony." He rocked her gently.

"It's okay baby. You're safe now, he's gone." Tony placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "He's gone."

Neither knew how long they sat there, Tony in just his boxers and Ziva in her underwear and a thin tank top. Neither knew how long Ziva cried while Tony whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

"Tony?" Ziva started.

"Yeah?"

"It is the anniversary today. Two years ago today you saved me." Tony made a mental note to never forget the date. "They always get worse around the anniversary. They are bad all the time but worse when it gets close."

"What did you do last year?" Ziva hiccupped, a rather cute and uncharacteristic noise Tony noticed.

"I dealt with it Tony. I had to no?"

"No. You should've come to me Zi. You always can you know."

"I know. But this is me at my most vulnerable. That is something I do not wish you to see."

"Ziva." He started gently. "I want to see every part of you." Ziva raised an eyebrow. "That came out wrong." He winced.

"I understand Tony." She laughed gently.

"I lo…" Tony stopped himself before he ruined everything. Ziva cuddled closer to him.

"Me too."


	8. Chapter 8

Tony smiled to himself and held her tight to his chest. Slowly but surely, Ziva's breathing slowed and she relaxed even further in his arms. Tony gently led down, taking her with him and, with the hand that was not trapped beneath the now sleeping Israeli, cocooned them both in the cover.

It was over an hour before Ziva started dreaming again. She mumbled in her sleep in at least four different languages before thrashing around again. But this time, Tony unconsciously pulled her closer towards his body heat and wrapped both arms around her. She awoke but was almost instantly asleep once more, knowing she was safe in his arms. That she would always be safe in his arms. Safe, warm and loved.

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><p>Well that's the end my lovelies. Sorry it was such a short chapter. It's been a pleasure writing for you. If you want a sequel just let me know. Thank you for sticking with me. Love you all. XX<p> 


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